Written by Cynthia Knotts
As a birth mother, deciding on the amount of contact you want with your child and adoptive family is a big choice to make. After all, facing three options that have their own set of pros and cons and weighing the types of adoption takes a lot of time and is not always a straightforward choice. But, remember every birth mother’s situation is different, so you don’t need to feel pressured to choose what everyone else has. Choosing the type of adoption that is best for you and your baby is completely up to you.
To help provide you with further insight, if you choose to place your baby for adoption with Adoption Choices of Florida, you will be assigned an adoption caseworker who will break down the options with you. Your adoption caseworker will also work closely with you to create an adoption and birth plan to ensure you are comfortable and prepared. However, although we will be helping you, we cannot make the decision for you. That is up to you. So, in order to make choosing the type of adoption you want easier, we have compiled 4 steps to guide you.
1. Research Each Type of Adoption
Researching each type of adoption as much as you can, and fully evaluating which works best for you, can make your decision easier. Carefully consider the possible pros and cons. Ask trusted friends and family to help you. Seek guidance from your adoption caseworker. Be sure to weigh all of your options.You can also expand research to other birth mother’s personal experiences. This can help you imagine the reality each option could provide.
Being prepared and confident in the choices you make will ensure a smooth adoption process. After all, it takes time to fully grasp what life could be like and how you could truly benefit from your choice.
2. Evaluate Your Ability to Maintain a Relationship with Your Child
Every birth mother’s situation is different. Not everyone can maintain constant communication with their child and adoptive family. For instance, dedicating to do an open adoption is a long-time commitment that your child may look forward to. As a birth mother, you want what is best for your child, and sometimes a semi-open or closed adoption will be most beneficial for he/she.
Your living situation, finances, career, etc. may all prohibit you from creating that bond that you want with your child and the adoptive parents. Instability in any aspect of your life, in fact, may make maintaining a relationship with your child difficult, and that is okay. It is important to understand what you are capable of and how your life may not be compatible with your child’s.
3. Consider the Level of Closure You Want in Your Adoption Plan
Each birth mother hopes to have different degrees of closure, which will correspond to the different levels of contact between them and their child. If you want full closure and to move on knowing your child is in a nurturing environment, closed adoption may be best for you. You may be content with staying in your child’s life and can handle an open adoption. Finally, if you are indifferent or unsure about the degree of closure you want, semi-open will be a good middle ground. Circumstances that surround your pregnancy may lead you to seeking out full closure.
Ultimately, only you know how much you would like to move on from or stay involved in your child’s life. It is understandable to not want to linger in the past and move towards the future. Your mental health is the most important. There is no shame in wanting closure.
4. Imagine Your and Your Child’s Life with Each Type of Adoption
After looking into, and thinking about, other birth mother’s experiences with each type of adoption, now it’s your time to put yourself in their shoes. It may be hard to imagine yourself communicating with an adoptive family you may not have chosen yet. Imagine visiting, sending text messages, receiving photos and making phone calls. This may seem easy on the surface, but it takes time and effort. You will have to add this new aspect of life to your schedule, even though the frequency will vary with each type. You have full control of how and when you communicate. How you plan to communicate with your child and adoptive family will be discussed before finalizing the adoption process.
Each method of adoption will entail different experiences and result in different outcomes. Every birth mother will find different benefits from choosing each type of adoption. Whichever choice seems to create the best life for you is the choice best for you. Imagining your future self in each relationship will help you decide on the type of adoption that is best for you.
Choosing which type of adoption in your Florida adoption process can be challenging. But you won’t be alone. Your adoption caseworker will help you navigate this portion of your adoption plan in any way they can. The only thing they won’t be able to do is make the final decision. Only you know what you want and what you can handle especially when it comes to your adoption plan. Every choice you make is valid. Each choice brings completely different pros and cons.
Adoption Choices of Florida will guide you through the decision-making process. The decision is yours to make, and we understand how hard decisions are to make in the adoption process. Your adoption plan is a very important aspect of the adoption process, we want to help ensure you get everything you wish. We are available 24/7 to help you make the best decision.
If you are a pregnant woman in Florida considering adoption, and have any questions or concerns about the adoption process, please don’t hesitate to reach out. For more information on adoption, visit us at Adoption Choices of Florida or call us at: (833) 352-3678
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