Written by Cynthia Knott
As you research Florida adoption process, there are so many terms and names you will come across. Through the years there have been changes in which terms are preferred so the list can feel long. Everyone has their own wants when it comes from names, so there being multiple to choose from allows for everyone to feel most comfortable. Some of the names or terms are interchangeable, while others have big differences despite seeming similar. Names will change after you give birth, so you will have to become versed in both lists of names. Choosing the names, you want to be used may be important to you.
Each Florida adoption agency uses similar terms, so becoming well versed in when to use each will be helpful. We at Adoption Choices of Florida strive to use the most accurate terminology at all times. Ensuring you are feeling comfortable with how you will be referenced may seem small but can affect the tone of your adoption journey.
Some names you might come across as a pregnant woman considering adoption may include:
Usually, an expectant mother is a pregnant woman who is due soon and plans to keep her child after birth. This is similar to both expectant woman and pregnant woman, but the use of “mother” insinuates that the child will be kept in custody if possible. Expectant allows others to know how far along you may be and that you may not be choosing adoption or want to keep “mother” in your title.
Calling a pregnant woman who is unsure if she will be keeping her child or not an expectant mother can be harmful. The small change from “mother” to “woman” can shift the tone in a small but impactful way. An expectant woman is someone who is pregnant and unsure whether or not she is keeping her child. Not all pregnant women want to be mothers, so that is where this name comes into play. The name expectant woman will be changed to birth mother, birth mom, first mother, etc., after birth.
Using this name allows for women struggling with what route they want to take. This name ensures that there is no awkwardness or pressure during this decision process. This is a good default to use before knowing their goals with their child. Not all pregnant women want to become mothers, so this name allows them not to feel any negative feelings.
The name that your child will most likely refer to you as is their birth mom or birth mother. Although you are their biological mother, birth mom/mother is seemingly less detached and allows you to feel less like someone who just shares DNA with their child. You deserve to be recognized for all that you have sacrificed for your child, and “birth mother” conveys this most in many people’s opinions.
6. Biological or Natural Mother
Some children might refer to their birth mother as their “bio mom.” This might be more because they are in a closed adoption so that connection is not really there. It may be because that is what you want to be referred to as, and that is okay. The use of “natural” may make the adoptive mother feel uncomfortable as well. Overall, it is more likely and recommended to use the term birth mother.
7. First Mother
This is a name some people still use, but it can be misleading or confusing. The use of “mother” rather than “mom” is key in this because very few birth mothers were their child’s mom. The use of first is not the best and can make the adoptive mother uncomfortable. Usually, the adoptive mother is the first and only mother to care for your child, so they should be recognized for that. Your sacrifices will still be appreciated but with the use of another more suitable name.
You may not have realized that there are so many names that you can be referred to as. You may want to look through all the possible names and choose which you feel most comfortable with. Names seem like a small part of your adoption journey, but there may be comfort in being called one name over the other. The various names you might come across as a pregnant woman facing an unplanned pregnancy considering adoption will be important to be aware of when doing research.
Every pregnant woman considering adoption is different and may have different outlooks on each term and name. Adoption Choices of Florida wants you to feel comfortable, so knowing which names you want to be used can help us help you. Overall, having knowledge of these names under your belt will be helpful in your adoption journey.
If you are a pregnant woman in Florida considering adoption, and have any questions or concerns about the adoption process, please don’t hesitate to reach out. For more information on adoption, visit us at Adoption Choices of Florida or call us at: (833) 352-3678
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