Birth Mothers Control of their Adoption 

By Anna Keller

Are you looking into adoption agencies in Florida because you are facing an unplanned pregnancy? Are you wondering how to get started? How much say you have in the matter, what your role is as the birth mother, and what you have to do. You may be asking if I place my baby for adoption. What are the steps? Are you wondering what might incentivize someone to choose adoption? What about certain stigmas and misconceptions? How will those affect your adoption process? What about your adoption options? You may also be wondering if I give up my baby for adoption, what happens afterward? How will I cope with this change?  

Adoption agencies in Florida, like Adoption Choices of Florida, will help you begin answering these questions. Not only will they answer your questions, but they will also help you navigate through things you did not originally anticipate. For instance, the emotional toll of adoption is just as important to pay attention to as the physical aspects. Health appointments are important, vital, and even to the well-being of yourself and your baby. However, your mental health deserves just as much care and support. Adoption in Florida naturally includes your mental health in its spectrum of care. The adoption process in Florida also will teach you how to overcome the negative impact of stigmas.  

Stigmas and Input of Adoption 

To move forward with your adoption plan, you will need to make peace with the reality that not everyone will agree with your choice. The stigmas will not disappear just because you begin your adoption journey. For instance, one particularly malicious stigma is that birth mothers are ‘throwing away’ their babies by adopting them out. Birth mothers, according to supporters of this stigma, do not care about the well-being of their child. This could not be further from the truth. By adopting out your baby, you can automatically fall back on the assertion that you care. By placing your baby for adoption, you are giving them a chance at life that you would not have been able to provide. And this is nothing to be ashamed of. Not everyone is ready to be a parent, so by adopting out your baby, you are making an admirable choice.  

To address the question of who gets a say in adoption, it depends on your circumstances. If your partner is deemed unfit in the eyes of the law to be a parent, then his input will be voided. The decision will fall solely to you. You can decide to either terminate the pregnancy, parent the child yourself, or place the baby for adoption. If you decide to go through with the adoption, you have several options. There are three different types of adoption: open, semi-open, or closed.  

Types of Adoption 

You might be asking yourself, how do I adopt out my baby if I can’t decide which one? Here is some information on each type. Open involves a mutual channel of communication between the birth mother and the adoptive family. The birth mother will check in on the baby and see how they are doing. This option is not for everyone. Some birth mothers who grow particularly attached to their babies will not want a constant reminder of them after birth. And that is completely valid. That is why you have other options. The next option is semi-open. This one includes a less involved channel of communication, with less frequent check-ins. And closed is exactly what it sounds like. Once you have given birth, and your grace period for changing your mind elapses, you will not have any more contact with the baby.  

Why Stigmas are not Legitimate  

Once you have given some thought to which type you would like, you can choose. And in the meantime, you can rest assured that while stigmas may feel hurtful, nothing stands in your way of adoption. If that is the option you want to pick, then you have a myriad of support to help you through it. The stigmas have no power to actually stop you, only hurt your feelings, and you can process through that. You can talk through any difficult feelings with your social worker or adoptive counselor. These people are trained to help provide insight into these difficult topics and feelings.  

Lastly, it is important to remember that by giving your baby for adoption, you are not ‘giving up on them. While the language may seem counterintuitive to this idea, try not to pay too much attention to it. Instead, focus on recalibrating your language into a more positive framework. For instance, instead of saying ‘giving your child up for adoption,’ if this language feels triggering, instead say ‘placing my child for adoption.’ A simple tweaking of the language can be really helpful for birth mothers struggling with the idea that they are doing the right thing for their baby.  

Why Adoption Matters 

By choosing adoption, you are partaking in a journey that will shape the life of your child into something worthwhile. That is nothing to be ashamed of; in fact, it is something to be incredibly proud of. While certain myths and misconceptions of adoption may simmer beneath the surface of the issue, it is best to ignore them. They have no real power over you; people who want to hurt your feelings are irrelevant to your adoption journey. You are in full control as you navigate this process.  

If you are a pregnant woman in Florida considering adoption and have any questions or concerns about the adoption process, please don’t hesitate to reach out. For more information on adoption, visit us at Adoption Choices of Florida or call or text us at: (833) 352-3678.