Choosing an Adoptive Family for Your Child as a Birth Mother

Written By: Erin Jones

As a birth mother placing her child for adoption, one of your most important duties will be to choose an adoptive family for your child. But just like any other milestone in the adoption journey, choosing the right adoptive family for your child won’t be an easy decision. There are so many great adoptive families out there waiting to adopt! So, to help you narrow down your search for the right adoptive family, here’s a quick list put together by Adoption Choices of Florida discussing three of the most important things to consider before choosing an adoptive family for your child. 

3 Things to Consider When Choosing an Adoptive Family for Your Child

1. Do You Believe Your Child’s Potential Adoptive Parents/Family are Good-Hearted, Decent People?

Perhaps the most important thing to consider when reviewing potential adoptive families for your child is whether or not these adoptive families are good and decent people. Adoptive families are typically required to go through extensive background checks and at least one thorough home study before getting approved for adoption. So, essentially, by the time you begin reviewing these potential adoptive families for your child, they’ve more than likely already been determined to be good people who are ready to grow their family. 

That said, it’s extremely important for you to feel that your child’s potential adoptive parents are, in fact, truly wonderful people, which is why meeting and getting to know potential adoptive families is such an important step in the adoption process. Not all birth mothers meet with potential adoptive families for their child — it all depends upon which type of adoption they choose — which is one of the many reasons why adoption professionals and other experts encourage open and semi-open adoption over closed adoption. Though open and semi-open aren’t for every birth mother who’s opted to place her child for adoption, you’ll certainly get a better feel for potential adoptive families by actually meeting and getting to know them.   

2. Does the Type of Adoption You’re Seeking Align with the Potential Adoptive Family’s Adoption Preference?

It’s important for you and your child’s adoptive family to be in agreement upon which type of adoption you both want. Most of the time, your adoption agency and/or adoption team will try to match you with potential adoptive families who have the same or similar preference as you regarding the type of adoption, but if and when you do decide to meet with potential adoptive families, be sure to check in with them to ensure that your adoption preferences align with theirs.

Again, note that you may be matched with an adoptive family who’s adoption type preference is similar to yours. For example, you may have opted for a semi-open adoption and your child’s potential adoptive family may hope to have an open adoption. It’s very common, especially in semi-open adoptions, for either the birth mother or the adoptive family to want to increase the openness of the adoption. If you wish to stick to a specific type of adoption, make sure to include that when creating your adoption plan. For more information on how to create an adoption plan, please visit our website’s blog on what to include in your child’s adoption plan.   

3. Have You Considered Your Other Preferences Regarding Your Child’s Potential Adoptive Family?

As you probably already know by now, there’s much to consider when choosing an adoptive family for your child. The following are some of the most common things birth mothers think about when choosing the right adoptive family for their child:

• Career(s) of the adoptive parent(s)/financial stability
• Religious views of the adoptive parent(s)
• Race, ethnicity, culture, etc. of the adoptive parent(s)
• Sexuality of the adoptive parent(s)
• Type of household — one-parent or two-parent
• Region/state/city/location where they want their child to grow up

Not all birth mothers have preferences regarding their child’s adoptive family, but most have at least a few! Since there’s really no shortage of families willing to adopt, it’s not especially difficult for adoption professionals to provide birth mothers with a list of potential adoptive families who meet their requirements. So, don’t be afraid to be specific when listing preferences related to your child’s adoptive family!

Choosing an Adoptive Family: What It Really Comes Down To

At the end of the day, your main focus when choosing an adoptive family should be on determining whether or not the potential adoptive families for your child are ones that are filled with good-hearted, open-minded people who are ready to embrace parenthood. There is no evidence to support that one’s career, religious views, race, sexuality, etc. indicate their ability to be a good parent. 

So again, when the time comes to choose an adoptive family for your child, search for one that you feel is genuinely loving, caring, and thrilled to welcome both the joys and the challenges that accompany parenthood!   

If you are a pregnant woman in Florida considering adoption, and have any questions or concerns about the adoption process, please don’t hesitate to reach out. For more information on adoption, visit us at Adoption Choices of Florida or call us at: (833) 352-3678