Dear Florida Adoptees, Here Are Some Ways to Celebrate Mom and Birth Mom in May!

Written by Eve Jones

As you know, Mother’s Day is in May, which makes it the perfect time of year to celebrate the maternal figures in your life. Of course, we here at Adoption Choices of Florida acknowledge that this can be a difficult topic for many adoptees and so this month may not be a happy time for you. Adoption is a complex process that can bring up complex emotions and painful situations for many of the people involved. We see you and we empathize with you and what you’ve been through. That being said, we wanted to share some ideas for those who do wish to celebrate this month, particularly if you have both your adoptive mom and your birth mom in your life.

Gifts For Your Adoptive Mother

• Flowers – Flowers are always a great choice! Just be sure to check that she’s not allergic first. You can get her a bouquet or even a potted plant if she has a green thumb. This is also a great way to support your local florist, because you can ask for their help and advice on what kind of bouquet or potted plant your mom might like the most.
• Card – You can pick out a silly, heartfelt, or cute card and write a short note expressing how you feel about your mom. OR, you can make a card yourself! Whether you consider yourself artistic or not, your mother will love the effort. The important thing is showing her how you feel about having her as your mom.
• Treat her to a meal – If you have the means, she’ll always appreciate a nice meal, whether you take her out or cook her something at home. If you choose the latter though, just be sure to make something within your skill level! Better to make a perfect bowl of box mac and cheese than try to replicate a 5-course fancy meal! If you take her out, the same rule applies – no need to do something super fancy and expensive, because the most important thing is showing her how you feel.
• Write her a letter – Tell her in words how you feel about having her as a mom and being in her life – it may seem simple, but a handwritten letter can mean the world to her and gives you a chance to put your feelings into words. It’s a win-win! It can be as long or as short as you want, and in whatever format best expresses your voice.

Gifts For Your Birth Mother

For many adoptees, this can be a little trickier and depends on the extent of your birth mother’s involvement in your life. We’ve included ideas for every situation, so feel free to choose whatever works best for yours, or take inspiration and do something different! Do whatever feels most comfortable and appropriate.

• Let her know you’re thinking of her – Sometimes just a simple message like this is all that is needed. If you had an open adoption you can tell her directly, or, if you had a semi-open adoption or simply don’t have a direct line of communication, you can ask our agency to pass along the message. Even if you have complex feelings about your birth mom, it can be helpful to reach out, however briefly.
• Invite her to a family gathering – Check with her that this is something she’d be comfortable with – it’s always good to communicate about boundaries! Inviting your birth mom to a family gathering can be a wonderful way to make her feel included and appreciated and like part of the family.
• Send her a handmade card or a letter – Just like your adoptive mom, your birth mom will appreciate a card or letter from you expressing your appreciation, love, care, or any other positive feelings you have about her. Letting people know how we feel about them is a great way to strengthen our ties! If you had a semi-open adoption you can of course ask us to pass your card or letter along.

You can really do any of the same things for your birth mom as you might for your adoptive mom if the situation calls for it. It’s entirely up to you and what you’re comfortable with. It’s also okay if you’re working through difficult feelings and don’t want to celebrate this month. As we said before, adoption is complex and affects everyone differently and you’re allowed to feel how you feel.

We understand firsthand at Adoption Choices of Florida just how unique every blended family is. That’s why it’s so important to communicate and make sure to understand people’s boundaries and limits. We’re always here to facilitate and assist in whatever ways we can to ensure that Florida adoptees like you have the best possible experience with both your adoptive family as well as your birth mother. Don’t hesitate to reach out with any questions!

If you are a pregnant woman in Florida considering adoption, and have any questions or concerns about the adoption process, please don’t hesitate to reach out. For more information on adoption, visit us at Adoption Choices of Florida or call us at: (833) 352-3678