Embracing Adoption, Embracing Love: My Adoption Story as a Birth Mother in Florida

February 26, 2024

By Adoption Choices of Florida

Embracing Adoption, Embracing Love: My Adoption Story as a Birth Mother in Florida

By Meryem Emma Mulac

My name is Elena. I am a mother. A mother without a child. As shocking as that sentence might seem to some of you, it is, despite everything, the naked truth. I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and chose to place him for adoption. And it was the best choice I have ever made in my life. 

Sound harsh? Well, let me tell you my story. If you are a woman or girl going through an unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption in Florida, this one’s for you.

Finding Out I Was Facing an Unplanned Pregnancy 

I am Elena, and I turned 19 in 2007. I’m a June child, and I just finished high school with honors. After turning in my college applications, I received my acceptance letter from my university of choice- Florida State. I was ecstatic, and like most young girls, I decided to celebrate. I’m from Miami, and knowing I will be moving to Tallahassee in a short while, I kind of let go of all my inhibitions. It was not an unusual move, I know, but it proved to be one that would change my life forever. 

I went out partying with my girlfriends at Club Space and met what I thought was the best-looking guy I’d ever seen. As most such stories go, a one-night stand ensued. Nothing special. 

Life went back to normal. I packed up and left Miami, and settled in at my dorm at Florida State. Little did I know, I was already two months pregnant. In all the excitement and stress, I hadn’t even noticed that I’d missed my period. When I realized this, I thought, “No worries; it’s just stress.” However, a little nagging voice in my head kept telling me to get a pregnancy test. I found a Walgreens late that night and lo and behold- the little plus sign appeared. 

I cannot begin to express to you the fear, anxiety, and trepidation I was feeling. I felt like vomiting. There was no way, just no way this could be happening to me…and yet…here I was. I felt like a walking cliche. 

Choosing Adoption as a Young Birth Mother in Florida

You’re probably wondering why and how I chose adoption for my baby. To be honest, I’d never seen myself as being a mother. Ever since I was a child, it was something I knew I didn’t want. My own mother was a single mother and I grew up without a paternal presence. I watched her struggle to pay the bills, and I watched her work herself to the bone. I was at Florida State because of her hard work and on a scholarship. I was studying Law, and I definitely wasn’t ready to be a mother, emotionally or financially. 

When I finally told my mom, she was insistent that I terminate the pregnancy. I thought about it- I won’t lie, but I just couldn’t. It was simply something I couldn’t do. I decided to tell my best friend since middle school- Ella-and thanks to her, she guided me to the idea of adoption. We sat down together and researched adoption agencies, especially adoption in Jacksonville. I didn’t want my baby to be in the same city I was in at the time- it just would have been too difficult for me. 

What I did want for my child was not to grow up like me. I wanted to make sure that he got opportunities in life that I’d never had and especially- that he had stability in his life. I decided to make the best choice for both of us. 

It wasn’t easy, and I cried rivers of tears and worried about the kind of family my child would grow up in. However, my intuition was screaming to me that it was the best thing to do.

What to Expect When Going Through the Adoption Process As a Birth Mother in Florida

Ella and I sat down at my computer in my dorm room one night and researched adoption agencies and newborn adoption. Thankfully, we came across Adoption Choices of Florida. I contacted them via phone and set up a time to meet with one of their counselors. She helped me come up with an adoption process and adoption plan and was with me through it all!

I’m so glad I decided to go with an adoption agency because as soon as word got out that I was placing my soon-to-be-born son for adoption, people started coming out of the woodwork. I was receiving emails from random strangers who wanted to adopt my baby, and that just didn’t sit well with me. I spoke with my counselor about this and she informed me about some things that I needed to consider. The most important thing she told me was that I was in charge; in charge of basically everything. 

So, I learned that I could choose whether I wanted an open or closed adoption- that is- whether I wanted to see my son from time to time or forgo the chance to ever see him again. I chose the open adoption. I wanted to check in on him from time to time and I wanted to be a part of his life. I also wanted Tristan to know why I had decided to place him for adoption, to know that it was not because he was unwanted. (Oh, and by the way, the family I chose allowed me to name him. I love the movie Tristan and Isolde- hence the name Tristan.)

I also knew that I wanted a family (a mother and father) who couldn’t have children to adopt my baby. That’s how I found Joe and Emily. They had been trying to conceive for years without any luck and were desperate to start a family and share the love they had within them. That love and excitement was palpable. I decided to trust my gut and when my baby was born, he went home to a beautiful house with a couple who saw him as the best thing that had ever happened to them. 

Fast-forward to today, I’ve finished my Law degree and am successful in my career as a defense attorney. I see my son three times a year and get to spend quality time with him. He is now a freshman in high school and has grown up to be a well-adjusted, kind, and joyful individual. His parents love him to death, and I couldn’t be prouder of myself for making the decision to have him adopted all those years ago. 

All four of us (Tristan, Joe, Emily, and myself) are living the lives we deserve and the lives we’ve always wanted. 

Having Tristan adopted and going through Adoption Choices of Florida was the best decision I ever made. I’m not going to lie- it was the most difficult decision but still the best one, and it was a choice made not out of selfishness but out of love.

Adoption Choices of Florida for Birth Mothers

My life had changed at the tender age of 19 without it being my choice, but I had flipped that around and taken my place in the driver’s seat. I knew then that I had the power to change not only my life, but my son’s, as well as an entire family’s. I felt empowered. I sincerely hope my story reaches you and that you, too, will understand that you are in charge and that the same adoption agency that was there for me- Adoption Choices of Florida- will be there for you, too! You can do this, and remember, you won’t be doing it alone!