Grandparent Support During the Adoption Process

February 8, 2021

By Adoption Choices of Florida

Grandparent Support During the Adoption Process

If you’re a birth mother considering adoption for your baby, you may already know the importance of having a strong support system. Family, friends, co-workers and other members of your social circle are critical to the success of your adoption journey, even if you already have the support of a wonderful adoption team. But as valuable as the advice and opinions of your adoption team are, sometimes, it’s nice to talk to a trusted family member or close friend. For many birth mothers taking the adoption journey, this trusted family member is often a parent. 

A birth mother’s parents — also the birth grandparents of the baby being placed for adoption —  can play a huge role in the adoption process, particularly as a figure of support for their daughter. As a birth mother, it can be difficult to talk to your parents about placing your baby for adoption, as becoming a new grandparent is a very exciting thing. But remember, you are your baby’s mother and only you can decide what’s best for your baby! Below, Adoption Choices of Florida discusses a few ways grandparents — both birth AND adoptive! — can show their support during the adoption journey!  

Grandparents and the Adoption Process 

  1. Birth Grandparents

If you decide to include your child’s birth grandparents in your adoption process, at first, it may be difficult for them to understand your adoption decision. Hopefully, through lots of open and honest communication, they’ll come to understand why you think placing your child for adoption is the right decision and be supportive of your journey!

No matter how grown up you are, your parents are always going to be your parents. Even when you become an adult, your parents often think that they know what’s best for you, even though you’re perfectly capable of making your own decisions. Going through the adoption process, this will be no different! Don’t be surprised if they try to give you advice or opinions that you didn’t necessarily ask for — again, they’re your parents and they’re just trying to help you! 

That said, don’t be afraid to set boundaries with your parents — even if it’s hard for you! Remember, this is your journey and your decision, not theirs. Sometimes, you might not want their input, and that’s OK. So, make sure to talk to them honestly, set those boundaries and let them know when you don’t want their input and when you do!

  1. Adoptive Grandparents

The majority of this blog has discussed birth grandparent support during the adoption process, but it’s important to keep in mind that the adoptive grandparents can be enormously supportive as well! Depending upon the openness of the adoption, the adoptive parents and grandparents can become major supporters of the birth mother — and of the adoptive parents, of course! — on her adoption journey.

The journey of adoption is an exciting one for adoptive grandparents because they’ll soon have the chance to experience the great joys of being, well, grandparents! Just like birth grandparents, adoptive grandparents can bring a plethora of knowledge, experience, advice and opinions to the table. But often, just like with birth grandparents, these things are given without necessarily being asked for. Sometimes, it’s harder to set boundaries with the adoptive parents and grandparents of your child, because you may not want to come across as rude. But don’t worry — it’s not rude to set boundaries! Is it difficult at times? Absolutely! However, it’s extremely important for you to feel as comfortable as possible throughout the duration of your adoption journey. 

Remember, if you’ve opted for an open or semi-open adoption, it’s best to communicate as openly as possible with your child’s adoptive family. That’s the best way to build trust and get comfortable with each other! But if you’re still struggling with doing so, try reaching out to your adoption agency or adoption team for guidance. It’s very common for adoption professionals to act as mediators if for some reason you’re finding it difficult to communicate with your child’s adoptive family. 

Including Others in the Adoption Process

Not every birth mother invites her family, friends, and other members of her social circle to be a part of her adoption journey. Taking the adoption journey alone is without a doubt one of the hardest things a birth mother might have to do in her life, however, some birth mothers find it just as difficult to include others in her process. You know the saying that goes, “the more the merrier”? For some birth mothers going through the adoption process, this statement equals pure dread — but it doesn’t have to! 

Particularly during the adoption process, it’s extremely important for you to have as much support as possible! Because, as aforementioned, as great as it is to have the support of a wonderful adoption team, sometimes you just need to hear a decent piece of advice from a trusted family member or close friend. If you’re still hesitant or uncertain about including your family, friends or other members of your social circle in your baby’s adoption process, please visit Adoption Choices of Florida’s blog on how to include your family in your adoption plan. 

If you are a pregnant woman in Florida considering adoption, and have any questions or concerns about the adoption process, please don’t hesitate to reach out. For more information on adoption, visit us at Adoption Choices of Florida or call us at: (833) 352-3678