When a birth mother finishes an adoption, it can end their chances of being a mother. Some are fine with that, but many birth mothers don’t want to lose out on being a mother. The good news is that adopting out a baby in the past never prevents you from having one later on. If you’re now pregnant again in a more stable place in life, it can bring excitement and anxiety. The adoption process in Florida or any state leaves long-lasting effects on birth mothers and their futures as parents. It can bring a lot of doubt and worry about your worthiness being a parent.
That’s why Adoption Choices of Florida is here to help. Our mission is to give the greatest possible care to birth mothers like you, and this includes the adoption aftermath. With this article, we want to show you that you can be a good mother even after adoption. If you’re now lucky enough to have a chance at a family, we want you to feel the excitement.
Every birth mother copes with the aftermath of their adoption in different ways. It can only get more complicated when having another child, so it’s hard to predict. In your first pregnancy, you may have gone through traumas that only you experienced, so it’s hard to find help. There’s a chance now that your current pregnancy can trigger those traumatic memories, no matter how excited you are.
No matter your emotions, being open to those who care is a great start. Online support groups are a great resource if no one you know can relate. Your time with our adoption agency may be over, but there are countless groups online composed of mothers like you. Many have gone through the same experiences and can advise you no one else can give. We can’t pin down everything you may feel, but we can help with a very common one: guilt. Especially the guilt about your first baby.
When pregnant with a baby, you plan on keeping it. It’s natural to think about yourself first. It’s perfectly normal to think about your first baby that you adopted out and to feel guilty about them. You may even feel like replacing your first baby, but you don’t have to feel this way. Your first baby will always have a place in your heart, and nothing will ever take that away from you. Don’t forget that there’s also the chance that you still have contact with your baby with open adoption. If that’s the case, you can talk with them about it and maybe even share in the excitement. There’s the chance they may feel similar unsure emotions about your new baby, but open communication goes a long way.
It’ll be harder if you have decided on a closed adoption since you won’t know your first child. Regardless, they are always going to be a part of you. The same motherly love that you feel for your upcoming child you also showed when choosing adoption for your first. When you placed your baby for adoption, you gave them the future you couldn’t have given them at the time. We see this as an act of love that any mother would want to do for their baby’s well-being. No matter what you do or do not know about your first child, a mother’s love is always there.
Parenthood is a learning curve for everyone who decides to become one, but for birth mothers, it’s different. What you went through in your Florida adoption can leave you with doubt about being a mother someday. It can even come from others who think you aren’t worthy if you give a baby up. Though, as we said above, adoption is love, and you are in no way unworthy of motherhood. The love you used when giving up your first baby can now be shown to a baby you can raise.
All throughout your unplanned pregnancy, you would have still learned lessons about motherhood that will now come in handy. When meeting with families to give your baby to, you hear their plans and their desire for a child. As such, it may even give you a better idea of parenthood compared to other mothers going in blind. Everyone learns differently, and you’ll make mistakes, but that’s a universal experience. It may be a hard transition, but we know you can do it and that you will be a great mother to your new child.
Becoming a mother isn’t easy, especially for birth mothers like you, but we know you can do it. Know that you can never replace your first baby and that you’ve already shown that baby a mother’s love. Adoption is love, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise or deny you your right to be an amazing parent. To begin your adoption with us and see your adoption options, contact an agency near you.
If you are a pregnant woman in Florida considering adoption and have any questions or concerns about the adoption process, please don’t hesitate to reach out. For more information on adoption, visit us at Adoption Choices of Florida or call or text us at: (833) 352-3678.