How to Find Closure with a Florida Closed Adoption

April 23, 2021

By Adoption Choices of Florida

How to Find Closure with a Florida Closed Adoption

Written by Eve Jones

When Making the Right Adoption Choice is Still Hard

Placing a baby for adoption is rarely, if ever, an easy choice to make for birth mothers. This is especially true when it comes to choosing a closed adoption. That’s why it’s so beneficial that there are more options about how to find closure with a closed adoption than there used to be. If you choose to work with an agency like Adoption Choices of Florida, you’ll be assigned an adoption specialist who will work with you to make the best possible choices for both you and your baby. Along the way they’ll offer you support and resources on finding closure.

After You’ve Chosen a Closed Adoption

You have decided already that you would prefer a closed adoption. Perhaps the circumstances of your pregnancy were extremely painful or traumatizing, or maybe they weren’t. Either way, it feels like the right choice for you. Being able to maintain your privacy so you can move on with your life is important, and is even crucial for some people’s mental health. There is no shame in this decision, and you can expect nothing but support from your adoption specialist as you navigate the adoption process.

However, even if you know it’s the right decision for you, it’s quite natural to still struggle with complex feelings and emotions around choosing a closed adoption. Many birth mothers who choose a closed adoption can experience feelings of guilt, sadness, and even anger. Sometimes all three and more. Depending on your own unique circumstances and life experiences, you might find yourself struggling to feel a sense of closure once all is said and done. 

You are not alone in this. 

What To Do with a Lack of Adoption Closure

Even when we make the right choice for ourselves, it isn’t always easy, and it can bring up thoughts and feelings that we don’t expect. Knowing this in advance can be very helpful, because you can at least try to plan for it and think about the best ways to manage those thoughts and feelings. It can even be good to plan for just feeling your feelings, because sometimes we forget to allow ourselves that kind of space and self-care.

  1. Seek Out Therapy or Counseling

If it’s within your financial means, consider seeing a therapist. There is absolutely no shame in getting care for your mental health. After all, if you sprained your ankle, you would see a doctor, right? A therapist will help you work through your feelings so that, over time, you will feel more at ease with your decision. It’s impossible to say how long this could take, and it does depend on doing the work — whether it’s homework your therapist has assigned to you, or researching on your own time. Finding closure is a journey, not a race.

  1. Talk with Your Adoption Specialist

Unfortunately, therapy is not an option for everyone, for many different reasons. If this is the case for you (and even if it isn’t), consider reaching out to your adoption specialist. You can contact them at any point — even months or years after the adoption has taken place. We will provide you with helpful resources. All of our adoption specialists have experience handling these types of situations, so you don’t need to feel self-conscious or concerned about how you might come across. Our only goal is to help you and be there for you.

  1. Reach Out to Your Support Networks, Both Online and Off

Besides the above options, it’s always a good idea to have a supportive network of family and/or friends you can turn to for emotional support. Whether that is with people in real life or through online communities, having people who care about you and are there to listen helps many birth mothers work through their feelings about their adoption. 

If you don’t feel supported by friends or family, or you just don’t feel comfortable discussing such a sensitive topic with them, there are countless online communities where you can post anonymously and get support from strangers who have been through the same thing or similar. If you need help finding such communities, just ask your adoption specialist.

  1. Re-Open Your Adoption Plan

There is, of course, always the option to open the adoption much later. However, if you decide to do this, just be aware that the adoptive family — or even the adoptee — may not choose to engage. But, oftentimes, if both sides mutually agree to be in contact with each other, it can help give closure.

Remember, you can take comfort in knowing that Adoption Choices of Florida prioritizes placing adoptees in wonderful, loving homes. Even if you don’t know where your baby will be placed, you can rest assured that we have taken care of everything. Many birth mothers find a sense of peace and closure in trusting us, and we value that trust very highly. 

How Long Does it Take to Get Closure after a Closed Adoption?

Determining how to find closure with a closed adoption is a different decision and there are no guarantees. It may take you days, months, or years to feel comfortable with your decision and be able to move past it. The best thing you can do while going through this is to be kind to yourself and know that you made the right choice. What’s more, we are always here whenever you need someone to talk to. 

If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact us here

If you are a pregnant woman in Florida considering adoption, and have any questions or concerns about the adoption process, please don’t hesitate to reach out. For more information on adoption, visit us at Adoption Choices of Florida or call us at: (833) 352-3678