I Gave My Baby Up for Adoption, Now What?

By Alex Reza

One thing you may not have thought about is how to cope with the emotions you are having after you give up your baby for adoption. While the adoption process can bring about feelings of love and joy, you may also be experiencing emotions such as grief, sadness, and anger. Know that it is normal to have these feelings after you have placed your baby for adoption. It is important to understand that there are not only very healthy ways to cope with the adoption process, but it is also possible for you to feel at peace knowing that you provided a happier life for your baby. 

Adoption Choices of Florida is a licensed child-placing agency that serves women facing an unplanned pregnancy. If you are a birth mother experiencing different emotions due to your adoption and are looking for advice on what to do afterward, our adoption agency in Florida will answer your questions and concern. 

How can I determine what emotions I am feeling, and how should I respond to a negative opinion? 

It is important for you to determine exactly how you are feeling about the fact that you placed your baby for adoption. You should not ignore your emotions, your feelings are real, and they are justified. Don’t feel like you have to cover up what you are feeling. You may cry, feel sad, or even have second thoughts. Don’t keep these emotions bottled up. Let them out – if you want to cry, then go for it. It certainly does not mean your decision was incorrect if you feel grief.

If at times, you feel weak, it does not mean you are not a strong person. You are starting the healing process by acknowledging your emotions, and this is what helps you to heal. An excellent way to be positive and happy is by thinking of what a wonderful decision you made out of love for your child. You gave them a better life! 

It is also important to have thick skin when it comes to the opinions of others regarding your choice to adopt out your baby. A negative opinion is most likely coming from a person who does not fully understand adoption and how wonderful it can be.

Please do not question your adoption decision as a result of these opinions. An alternative option is to provide the person with information about how the adoption process works. This way, they can see it is a selfless act that provides your child with a loving and caring family that will give them a wonderful life. You may want to explain to them that there are different adoption options, and you can still be involved in your child’s life. 

Can somebody help me cope with the adoption process? 

If you need help coping with placing your baby for adoption, then we highly recommend that you speak to somebody you trust. There are many options that adoption agencies in Florida can provide. We have adoption professionals on hand that will connect you with a therapist if needed. You may feel more comfortable speaking with a family member, a friend, or another birth mother.

If you decide to speak to other birth mothers, they will most likely have similar, if not the same, emotions that you are feeling. If you feel you cannot control your emotions or your feelings are causing you to question your decision, then we recommend that you speak with a professional therapist. Whomever you decide to speak with regarding your adoption, it is important that he or she is compassionate, a good listener, and has had experience working with birth mothers who have gone through the adoption process. The adoption counselors at Adoption Choices of Florida have years of experience when it comes to counseling. We are here to support you, whatever your needs may be. 

Am I ever going to feel at peace with my adoption decision? 

Placing your baby for adoption is a decision that is made out of selfless love for your child. You have provided a happy and healthy life for your baby. Your baby is going to be loved and cared for by the adoptive family. If you have chosen a semi-open or an open adoption plan, you will be able to see that your child is happy, safe, healthy, and loved by the adoptive family. With semi-open adoption, you can see how your baby is doing by looking at pictures, letters, or emails. If you have decided to pursue an open adoption, you can have a relationship with your child as he or she progresses through life. 

It is certainly possible to be at peace with your adoption decision. When it comes to the healing process, there is absolutely no deadline. If it takes years for you to heal, then that is fine. Get involved in activities that bring you peace and joy, or try new ones like yoga, exercise, or meditation. If you are a nature person, carving out time for bike riding with your family and/or friends is a great idea. 

We are here to help 

Adoption is a life-changing decision and a process that contains many different emotions. We sincerely hope you can come to terms with the fact that you placed your baby for adoption. If you feel as though the grief, sense of loss, or anger is too difficult to handle on your own, then an adoption professional can certainly help you.

If you are a pregnant woman in Florida considering adoption and have any questions or concerns about the adoption process, please don’t hesitate to reach out. For more information on adoption, visit us at Adoption Choices of Florida or call us at: (833) 352-3678, or text us at 904-559-1251