Adoption Choices of Florida is here to support you through the emotional process of adoption. We understand it can be emotionally draining and confusing during such an important process. Your fear and confusion about placing a child for adoption are completely valid emotions to have during this time, which is why we are here to help.
Whatever opinion your child may form about you will probably be based on whatever their adoptive parents say about you. It is unlikely they will regard you in any way other than one of gratitude and kindness due to the amazing gift you have blessed them with. If you would like to have more control of how your child sees you, you can discuss an open adoption with updates or giving something of yours to your child to further cement that you cared for them and did not give them up for adoption without a lot of thought and care. When choosing your child’s family, I am sure you are taking or have taken a lot of care and consideration when deciding on who will raise, care for, and love their child. Your child will know you cared and did not make these choices easily when they see the wonderful family they have because of you and the sacrifice you made.
Children do not often suddenly develop some sort of judgmental attitude. If a child holds any ill will against you, it will probably be due to the influence of those around them, such as other children who want to make another child feel as bad as they do or because it was something they heard their parents say. For instance, if your child suddenly came home and told their parents that they don’t think their birth mother loved them when asked why they think this, they will probably relay what another child at school said about being given up for adoption by their birth mother. So long as the family you decide on reassures your child that you did, in fact, care so much for them that you found the best family you could to take care of them, it is doubtful your child will develop an attitude of judgment or anger towards you. Besides, teasing and bullying in the schoolyard, while awful, can be triggered by anything. If another child is having trouble at home or wrestling with something inwardly, they may take it out on another child, despite it being a futile effort at feeling better.
That is not to say that your child will never get upset over their adoption. Adoption is a hard thing for birth parents and adoptive parents to go through, even with a happy ending of families being formed. All those involved in the Florida adoption process are present during it, but the baby is not exactly present and paying attention to these processes. Years later, when everyone has moved on past the finalization of an adoption, the baby grows up into a teenager who may be trying to come to terms with something they do not completely understand or were there for.
That has to be a lot to deal with to know that you are at the center of something so impactful which you have no recollection of or control over.
It may take years, but your child will someday understand they would not have their loving parents without your sacrifice. When they have children of their own, they may further understand why and how you were unable to care for them at the time.
This is why you may find it helpful to explain to the adoptive parents why you are unable to care for a child at this time in your life. This way, they can give more detail and context to your child to help the child to understand, as well as to give your reasoning more substance, rather than just the opaque understanding of you doing what was for the best with no real details. This reasoning could be due to your education, your age, your financial situation, your living situation, your relationship with the father, or possible domestic issues, which you may have felt were unsafe for the child.
Your child may feel anger at you at some point, but all kids get upset with their parents for big and small things. Whether their parents grounded them as punishment or they find out they’re adopted, kids get upset about almost anything. That isn’t to say their feelings are not valid, and adoption is much different than being grounded, but my point is that all kids feel like the world is against them when it is not. All you can do is make sure the parents you choose through your Florida adoption agency will be there for them through all the tough times and emotions they will have to deal with.
In the end, if your child asks their parents about where they came from, you can be sure that Adoption Choices of Florida will help you to pick the family most assured of your love for your child and will understand you are doing what needs to be done for both yourself and your baby. We are here to help ensure that you are able to find the family who will convey to your child how much they will always matter to you.
If you are a pregnant woman in Florida considering adoption and have any questions or concerns about the adoption process, please don’t hesitate to reach out. For more information on adoption, visit us at Adoption Choices of Florida or call us at: (833) 352-3678
If you are considering placing your baby up for an FL adoption, you may have a…