Reflecting on Your Adoption: A Birth Mother’s Brave Decision

January 18, 2024

By Adoption Choices of Florida

Reflecting on Your Adoption: A Birth Mother’s Brave Decision

By Moki Murillo

Unfortunately, adoption, especially the birth mothers who choose it, is very rarely viewed in a positive light by society. This negative perception is a major reason that keeps birth mothers from contacting adoption agencies. Many birth mothers even internalize this perception, believing that choosing adoption means that they are bad mothers. Of course, this is far from the truth.

We at Adoption Choices of Florida believe that adoption is one of the bravest decisions that mothers could make. Not every pregnancy will come conveniently in a mother’s life. Often, an unplanned pregnancy can change a mother’s life, but not always for the better. Perhaps you don’t have the means to support a baby through life. Maybe your school or career prevents you from devoting the time needed to raise this baby. You may even have children already, but you can’t afford to raise another. Whatever your circumstances, you need to ask yourself if you are both able and willing to raise this child. If the answer is no, then you owe it to yourself and your child to explore other options.

How Adoption Benefits Your Child and Others

Among your options, adoption is arguably the most noble. After all, a parent’s most important responsibility is to provide a safe and happy life for their child. Adoption can be the means to provide your child with that life. As part of the adoption process with our adoption agencies, you have the power to choose the adoptive parents. You can view their profiles on our website and even arrange interviews with them. That way, you can be certain that the prospective family both has material means and shares your values. This will obviously benefit your child as they will grow up in a stable environment with loving parents.

Adoption can also benefit the chosen adoptive family as well. Not every couple that wants a baby can do so. They may have conditions that prevent them from having children, or they may be a same-sex couple. Not everyone is willing to hire a surrogate, either. Other families may already have children, but they want more. Whatever their reasons, your child could be the answer to their prayers. Pursuing your adoption options can improve the lives of these families, so it is a path worth considering.

Beginning the Adoption Process and Your Adoption Plan

To start this path, your first step would be to contact one of our Florida adoption agencies. We facilitate the adoption process all over the state, including adoption in Jacksonville. Once you confirm your decision to pursue adoption, you will be connected to one of our adoption specialists. Your adoption specialist will help you form an adoption plan, which will shape everything in your adoption process. 

Through your adoption plan, you can decide the adoption type, which determines the openness of the adoption. For example, choosing an open adoption means that you are allowed to have contact with the adoptive family. A closed adoption, on the other hand, means that you voluntarily cut off contact with the adoptive family. As stated previously, you can also choose your child’s adoptive parents if you are pursuing an open adoption. 

Your adoption plan can also allow you to access resources and services meant to support you through pregnancy. We can cover any reasonable living and medical expenses, such as groceries and prenatal care. Our agency can even provide mental health resources and legal aid when necessary. How much aid you will receive, however, will depend on your circumstances. 

Taking Care of Yourself During and After the Adoption Process

While adoption can be a birth mother’s best option, it is still, nonetheless, a hard decision to make. Although birth mothers are justified in choosing adoption, they are still allowing another family to raise their baby. That fact often weighs heavily on birth mothers throughout the adoption process and beyond. Negative feelings, such as guilt and anxiety, are common among birth mothers. These feelings can also be exacerbated by conditions such as pregnancy hormones and postpartum depression. If left unattended, these feelings can lead to lasting trouble. As such, Adoption Choices of Florida urges all our birth mothers to take advantage of our mental health services. We offer a variety of therapies to suit your unique needs, from one-on-one to group therapies and more. 

Another essential step is to find support from other people. Isolation is often harmful to a birth mother’s mental health. As such, the love and support of friends and family is important. But what if you don’t have this support in your life? Thankfully, our agency can connect you to many support groups. While we can’t guarantee that you will make friends, you can at least interact with like-minded birth mothers.

As you go through life during and after the adoption process, you must also remember that healing takes time. Even with all the help possible, you will have bad days, and it’s okay not to be okay. What matters is that you remember to forgive and be good to yourself. There will be good days, too, if you let yourself feel them.

The Final Word on Adoption

Choosing adoption is not as easy as most people think. A birth mother doesn’t just “drop off” their baby and be done with it. It is a decision that carries weight and often leads to agonizing nights. As you can see, the adoption process can take a toll on you both during pregnancy and after. These hardships, however, do not erase the need. You know your own circumstances better than anyone, and only you would know if adoption is the right choice. Adoption will be a hard choice to make, but it could be crucial to your child’s future.

If you need help facilitating adoption for your baby, call Adoption Choices of Florida today.