Are you a family or friend of a current birth mother choosing adoption in Florida? Are you wondering what you could do to help? One of the most important roles for you in the adoption process is supporting the birth mother. The birth mother needs her family and friends by her side during the difficult tasks of adoption. After all, there isn’t anything more important than her knowing she has trusted loved ones she can rely on.
Adoption Choices of Florida is here to give you insight into how you can support a birth mother during adoption.
Adoption can be a new and scary process for everyone involved, especially for the birth mother. It is important to listen to her and hear why she is choosing adoption. Be sure to remain as nonjudgmental as you can, even if you disagree with her. There may be a time and place where she welcomes your feedback and opinions, but this isn’t one of them. Her mental and emotional needs are sensitive and fragile. She comes first.
Along the same lines, research the differences between what is true and not true about adoption before voicing your thoughts. Understand that you may have preconceived notions and not even realize it. Remember that just because the birth mother is choosing adoption doesn’t mean she doesn’t love the baby growing inside her. It’s quite the opposite. Her choice reflects that she wants the best for her child, and she’s doing everything she can to ensure that that happens.
When looking from the outside, adoption may seem different than anything you’ve ever encountered before. It may also be hard for you to watch your loved one go through the ups and downs common with adoption. You may wonder if adoption is such a good choice while watching your friend or family member experience these emotions.
Educate yourself as much as you can on adoption. Learn what adoption is and how it impacts the birth mother, child, and adoptive parents. Go to the doctor’s appointments or meetings with the adoption caseworker, if you are able to, and ask questions. This will not only show the birth mother that you have taken interest in learning how to be there for her, but it will also help you understand the miracle that is adoption.
One of the biggest decisions that your friend or family member will have to make during adoption is who their baby will be placed with. This isn’t a choice to be made lightly, as it determines the kind of life that both she and the child will have. Adoption agencies will provide her with parent profiles to choose from, featuring different families that best match the preferences outlined in her adoption plan.
If she permits you, review the profiles with her. This decision can be overwhelming and present a lot of challenges. As a family member or friend, you can help provide a second pair of eyes on the information. Take a look at the variety of adoptive families and ask what she likes and dislikes about each one.
With your help, things like the type of adoptive parents, religion, or ethnic background can be an easier choice for her. After all, the birth mother has a lot of things to review and think about. She needs her family and friends to be her sounding board. Listen to her ideas and give her your thoughts. Your help could be the deciding factor between what type of adoption she chooses, the adoption agency she works with, or the adoptive family she chooses.
As a trusted friend or family member, you are part of your loved one’s support system. You have been specifically chosen to be part of and welcomed into a complex and emotional season of her life. This means you may see who your pregnant friend or family member chooses as her child’s adoptive parents. You get to comfort, encourage and offer assistance in whatever way the birth mother needs. This is a huge honor.
We understand that you may feel just as overwhelmed as your loved one at times, but remember to be there for her as much as you can. You have gained her trust and have been invited to walk with her through a beautiful journey.
If you want to learn more about supporting a birth mother through her adoption journey, Adoption Choices of Florida is here to help. Our free counseling services extend to immediate family and we will gladly give you the information and resources you need to help your loved one through their adoption journey. Adoption agencies will also answer questions you may have and assist you in any way possible.
If you are a pregnant woman in Florida considering adoption, and have any questions or concerns about the adoption process, please don’t hesitate to reach out. For more information on adoption, visit us at Adoption Choices of Florida or call us at: (833) 352-3678