Weighing Your Options When Making a Difficult Decision in Your Florida Adoption Plan
When considering a closed adoption versus an open or semi-open adoption, there are many factors to consider. Every person is different, and no two situations are the same. What worked for one person, even someone you know, may not necessarily work for you. That’s why it’s so important to spend some time thinking carefully about what the right decision is for you. Weighing the pros and cons of closed adoption can be extremely useful. It can help to illustrate both sides of the issue and highlight potential concerns for you, the adoptive family, and the adoptee. It can also make you feel more comfortable with whatever you choose to do. Being comfortable with your decision is an important factor in feeling a sense of closure after the adoption process in Florida. At Adoption Choices of Florida adoption agency, we’re happy to assist you with this, because you’re not in it alone!
Pros of Closed Adoption for the Adoptee
Protection – For many birth mothers, the circumstances around the pregnancy can be fraught with trauma and even dangerous individuals. If you are in a situation like this, the safest choice could be a closed adoption so that the adoptee can be protected from being exposed to problematic situations and people.
Ability to bond with adoptive family – Adoptees who grow up only knowing their adoptive family often find it easier to bond with them. Sometimes having their birth mother in their life causes confusion and discomfort, despite her best intentions. Being able to bond exclusively with their adoptive family can make adoptees feel much more stability and balance in their life.
Pros of Closed Adoption for the Birth Mother
Closure – Many birth mothers find a much greater sense of closure through a closed adoption. They can compartmentalize it and move on with their lives knowing they made the right decision. Being able to do this can be especially important if the circumstances around the pregnancy were traumatic and painful.
Comfort – If you work with our adoption center, you will know right from the beginning that we will find a loving family for your baby. Birth mothers who work with us take comfort in this and find it a great relief, especially if they’ve chosen a closed adoption where they won’t have a say in where their baby goes.
Stability – Maintaining a connection with an adoptee can often be very painful and make it harder to feel a sense of stability. Some birth mothers may feel obligated to stay in the same town where the adoptee lives with their adoptive family, even if there are few opportunities socially or professionally. Knowing the adoptee is in good hands enables many birth mothers to make choices they might not have been able to otherwise.
Pros of Closed Adoption for the Adoptive Family
Bonding – Although many families are open to having the birth mother in their child’s life, it can often make bonding with their child much more difficult. Through a closed adoption, many adoptive families find it easier to build that bond and nurture it.
Stability – In addition to bonding, adoptive families can often create a better sense of stability for the adoptee if the birth mother is not present. They are empowered to lay a strong foundation for their child without worrying about causing confusion or distrust through a potentially complicated relationship with an outside parental figure.
Closure – Just as birth mothers need a sense of closure, so too do adoptive families. They may have complex reasons for choosing to adopt, or the adoption itself could have brought up difficult emotions. Being able to know their baby and only their baby from the start can help close old wounds and allow a fresh start.
Cons of Closed Adoption for the Adoptee
Lack of medical history – Although your assigned adoption specialist will do everything in their power to provide necessary information, sometimes it’s just not possible through a closed adoption. Having access to their biological family’s medical history can be incredibly helpful to adoptees in managing their own health. Not having this information can present problems.
Identity – Many adoptees benefit from knowing where they came from and why they were placed for adoption. Not knowing and not being able to find out can complicate their sense of self and be extremely painful. It can make gaining a sense of closure difficult as well.
Cons of Closed Adoption for the Birth Mother
Lack of closure – Although some birth mothers do feel a sense of closure from a closed adoption, many do not. Adoption brings up many complicated feelings and is rarely an easy decision, and not knowing where the adoptee has gone can make it hard to feel at peace.
Feelings of guilt – Some birth mothers can’t but feel a sense of obligation, that they should be more involved in the adoption process. They may feel this way even if they know that not being involved is the better choice. Because of this they may feel guilty. Guilt is a multifaceted emotion that can be more easily triggered for some than others.
Fear of not knowing – Although the birth mothers we work with trust us to find good homes for adoptees, many still feel a sense of fear from not knowing. This is quite common, both in adoption and in other parts of life. We often fear what we don’t know. It can be very hard to overcome this kind of fear in a closed adoption, because you simply may never know.
Cons of Closed Adoption for the Adoptive Family
Medical history – Adoptive families want the best for their children, which includes knowing their medical history. If they’ve adopted their child through a closed adoption, getting this medical history can be difficult to impossible and make it harder to ensure their child will be able to get the care they need should complications arise.
Difficulty answering questions – Families who choose to adopt understand that adoptees will usually have questions about their origins. With a closed adoption, they won’t be able to answer many of these questions. Sometimes this can affect their bond with the adoptee if the child feels confused or angry at the lack of answers.
How Will I Know if Closed Adoption is the Right Choice for Me?
Once you’ve considered the pros and cons of closed adoption in Florida and researched your options, you will be much better informed when making your choice. Only you can decide what is right for you, but if you have any questions or concerns, or just need reassurance about your decision, you can always reach out to your adoption specialist, even long after the adoption has gone through.
If you are a pregnant woman in Florida considering adoption, and have any questions or concerns about the adoption process, please don’t hesitate to reach out. For more information on adoption, visit us at Adoption Choices of Florida or call us at: (833) 352-3678
The information on this website is for general information purposes only. Nothing on this site should be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. This information is not intended to create, and receipt or viewing does not constitute, an attorney-client relationship.