Top 5 Myths about Birth Mothers to Stop Believing

By Erin Jones

Most people have preconceived ideas about adoptions and the process of how it works in Florida. People do not realize that many of these common thoughts are wrong. Myths about birth mothers and adoption place more stress and worry on everyone involved. It is time you know these myths about birth mothers and what you should believe instead. 

As a birth mother, placing your baby is hard enough. You don’t need any added stress — especially from negative messages and stereotypes circulating about who you are. Adoption Choices of Florida is here to help set the record straight and highlight the truths about these myths.

1. Myth: Birth Mothers Take the Easy Out

If you have done any research online about birth mothers and adoption, you’ve no doubt run into this one. Many believe that choosing adoption equates to abandoning responsibility for your child. However, we know that isn’t true. 

Making the decision to give your baby a life plan isn’t an easy way out, but a strong and selfless choice. You are doing what you feel is best for you and your baby. What most people don’t recognize is the emotional and physical toll it takes to go through the adoption process and admitting that you aren’t the right person to raise your child. You have to stay positive and remind yourself that you are doing what is best for your child. You want them to have a brighter future, even if that means it won’t be with you. 

2. Myth: Birth Mothers don’t Love their Babies

Most believe that if a birth mother is willing to put her baby up for adoption, she doesn’t love them. But this couldn’t be more wrong! You know that giving your child a new life means putting their needs before your own. You want them to flourish and grow into a healthy, happy human being. This takes an immense amount of love to accomplish.

The choice to let another family raise your child also comes from a high level of love. It shows trust in the adoptive family and that you care about your child’s well being. You know that you are doing the right thing. Adoption Choices of Florida is here to help you prove that point as well. With the many resources we have, we can help you understand that just because you don’t choose to raise your child yourself doesn’t mean you love them any less, just as it doesn’t make you any less of a mother. 

3. Myth: Birth Mothers are Selfish

This unfortunate statement against birth mothers goes hand-in-hand with the two myths discussed above. There are some who may view your choice as a selfish one, where you are putting yourself first and not keeping your baby’s best interests at heart. But, in truth, it is just the opposite. When you willingly place your baby with an adoptive family,  you are putting your baby’s needs above your own. You are admitting that you are not in a place to give your baby the life he or she deserves, and are ensuring that they find a loving family where they will be raised happy and healthy. In doing so, you are also helping adoptive parents’ dreams of having a family come true. All of this means that you are putting yourself last. 

Many do not understand that people often do not care to find out the why you chose adoption for your child. They just assume it is so you can live a problem-free life as if nothing happened. Yet, just because you give an adoptive family a wonderful gift doesn’t mean you stop caring and worrying about your baby. Everyday you will most likely think about him or her and wonder how they are doing. That sounds incredibly selfless. 

4. Myth: Birth Mothers should Keep their Choice of Adoption a Secret

Adoption has been a taboo subject in most communities and families in the past. Particularly when it comes to birth mothers. In the early days of adoption, adoption wasn’t talked about or brought up, and was believed to be a very negative thing. Birth mothers themselves were sent away to have their babies in secret, then told to return and pretend like nothing happened.

But adoption has changed, and it should not only be talked about but it should also be celebrated. There should be no more shame or guilt associated with a birth mother considering adoption, as it is a brave and loving choice to make. You are showing that you love your child and are doing everything you can to ensure they have a better, brighter future. It’s important and beneficial to remind yourself of this as you go through your adoption journey. Just as it is essential to tell others that the choice to place your baby for adoption is yours and that you did what was best for your child. Many don’t understand your choice isn’t easy — let’s change that together! 

5. Myth: All Birth Mothers are Teens

This is probably one of the most common myths about birth mothers. For many generations, people have passed down the idea that all birth mothers are teenagers, and it has become a prominent falsity in the adoption world. While it’s true the rates of teen pregnancies are high in some areas, it doesn’t mean that all birth mothers out there are teens. In fact, birth mothers can range in both age and background. There is not one specific area or category that a birth mother could fit into. 

Our adoption agency in Florida helps birth mothers from all walks of life. Each and every one is unique and has a different story. No two birth mothers or adoption journeys are the same. That is why it’s unfair to put this label on pregnant women and expect them to fit into a box. Just because you are in a situation where placing your baby for adoption is the best option doesn’t mean you’re young and in trouble. 

Myths about Birth Mothers

If you ask someone who a birth mother is, you’ll most likely get a different answer from everyone you ask. This is because everyone has their own opinion and definition of a birth mother, and how many of these negative stereotypes get created and circulated. But the important thing to remember is that these myths are just that. Untrue statements about you and your choice. The truth is, only you know what is best for you and your baby. Only you know how challenging your choice is and how it impacts you.  

Adoption Choices of Florida is here to help to dispel the myths and false information about you and other birth mothers. As hard as it might be, don’t believe the negative things that people say about you or begin to doubt your decision. Instead, research everything you can about adoption and speak to professionals in the field. Know that adoption agencies value you and respect your decision. Our goal is to help you feel empowered and positive about your decision.

If you are a birth parent considering adoption, and have any questions or concerns about the process, please don’t hesitate to reach out. For more information on adoption, visit us at Adoption Choices of Florida or call us at: 800-985-8108