Adoption is an extremely difficult choice to make. You’ve found yourself in a situation where you have to make a decision that impacts not just your life but the life of your baby. Pregnant women considering placing their baby for adoption have a lot to think about. Just like any major life decision, adoption has its fair share of pros and cons. One of the disadvantages many birth mothers face is the backlash and reactions from friends, loved ones, and even strangers. We like to believe that we don’t care what other people think, but sometimes it’s hard to block that voice out completely.
If you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption, Adoption Choices of Florida is here to help. We provide resources, support, and advocacy for women from all walks of life dealing with an unexpected pregnancy. We work with hundreds of women every year, and we know you have a lot of questions and concerns. We’re not just an adoption agency; we’re here for you every step of the way. Adoption is never a journey you should have to take alone. If you’re concerned about the acceptance of those around you, talk with one of our compassionate and expert counselors. We can help you determine how to talk to your friends and family about your adoption and provide access to safe housing if needed. We’re here for you 24/7, 365, even when no one else is.
If you’re concerned about the reaction of your choice of adoption, we hope to ease your fear at least a little. Adoption is beautiful and selfless and should be treated and celebrated as such. You deserve nothing less than open arms and open hearts to your decision to choose adoption.
Knowledge about adoption by the general public and the scientific community studying it has been steadily rising each year. It no longer has to be spoken about behind closed doors and kept in great secrecy. Adoption is not only more known but more widely accepted and celebrated. It provides families who cannot have biological children for various reasons the opportunity to be parents. In fact, adoption is probably more common than you think. You probably know someone who has adopted or is adopted. It’s important to remember that adoption is not just infant adoption; it also includes kinship adoption. You most likely won’t be chastised immediately for choosing adoption. Sometimes it’s as simple as once you’re part of the adoption community, you’ll start to notice adoption all around you. In fact, around 5 million Americans alive today are adoptees.
There’s no actual number for how many parents are waiting to adopt across the world, but it’s estimated to be between one and two million. Families who face infertility, single men or women who want to be a parent, families with medical conditions that make pregnancy unsafe or impossible, and LGBTQ+ couples.
One of the biggest myths about adoption is that choosing adoption is somehow giving up. Part of the adoption community’s efforts to end adoption stigma is to change how we talk about the act of putting a baby up for adoption. When we say she “gave her baby up for adoption,” we assume a lot from the simple sentence. Adoption is not giving up; adoption is giving. It’s not like dropping off old furniture at a thrift store. Choosing adoption is hard. Birth mothers go through a lot during the Florida adoption process and face many months of healing and emotional struggles. Giving up makes it sound easy, and it’s anything but that. Adoption isn’t a means to an end; it’s a means to a beginning. By choosing to place your child with a family, you are giving them what they’ve always wanted and never thought they could have. I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t sound like giving up.
The fact is not everyone will break out the streamers and confetti for your adoption. You may have family or friends that disagree with your decision. There may be turmoil or loss of relationships. Although not many strangers will know that you’ve been through adoption, how do you approach it when they do ask questions? Unfortunately, adoption doesn’t come with an instruction manual or Wiki-how article. Everyone experiences adoption differently, and your story and experience won’t be the same as someone in seemingly the same situation. If you’re dealing with backlash with your adoption, talk with your counselor. We may be able to help willing friends or family better understand your situation and why adoption is so important. If you’re afraid of how someone might react, we can even act as mediators or be in the room with you. The important thing to remember is that those who want to be there for you will be. You can’t force someone to accept something they refuse to understand
If, for any reason, you feel you don’t feel safe, reach out to your adoption counselor immediately. There’s a lot we can do to help you get to a safe place to live, advocate for you, and be a support system in this time of need. As a woman considering adoption in Florida, you are entitled to financial, medical, and housing assistance. Take full advantage of these resources.
Short answer, no. Long answer, absolutely not. It’s easy for us to say you shouldn’t care what other people think about choosing adoption. The reality is that certain people’s opinions and perceptions of you can matter an awful lot. What will my parents think? What will my partner think? What will my best friends think? Those people matter to you, and you care how they see you. In times of trial, you learn who’s really in your corner. It’s okay to feel scared of the possible judgments. It’s also OK to let go of those who don’t serve you. Find comfort in knowing that the opinions that matter at the end of the day are those of the adoptive parents and your baby.
If you are a pregnant woman in Florida considering adoption and have any questions or concerns about the adoption process, please don’t hesitate to reach out. For more information on adoption, visit us at Adoption Choices of Florida or call us at: (833) 352-3678
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